Confict Resoultion

== What's on Jim's Heart this week ==== CONFLICT Resolution ===

Conflict is a normal state of human affairs. People make mistakes, feelings get hurt, toes get stepped on (trampled might be a better word). It's how we handle conflict that seperates us as Christian leaders from the great unwashed masses in the lower animal kingdom.

The bible is full of examples of how not to handle conflict (Esau, Absolom) as well as guidelines for proper conflict resolution. As ECHO Leaders I expect you to:

1. Pick up the phone and call the person with whom you have a conflict. This phone call should happen as soon as possible THIS WEEK. It does not matter who started it or who might be at fault. You should make the first move.

2. Start the conversation by either asking for forgiveness or granting forgivness and expressing your desire to mend fences. Find a time to get together in person - this should be your #1 priority - more important than sleep, date night, TV, or any other recreation. Matt. 7:3-5

3. Don't dwell on the past - forgive and move on - concentrate on what both of you are going to do differently next time. Proverbs 19:11 A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

4. Don't talk to others about the conflict until you/they have completed steps 1-3 above. If someone comes to you and wants to discuss a conflict make sure that they have completed steps 1-3. Some amount of listening may be needed (use good judgement) but you should spend most of your time trying to get the conflicted person to pick up the phone and call. Don't get stuck in triangle talk. (triangle talk = person 1 and person 2 talking about person 3)

5. If the conflict persists - find a mediator respected by both parties. Under no circumstances should conflict be allowed to fester longer than a couple of weeks. Matthew 18:15-17

6. And this of course applies to all of your relationships, friends, family, work, spouse, parents ... it really does work - and the reward is an even stronger friendship (and usually some good stories that you can laugh about later).

Here is an excellent article I found on the web. http://www.hispeace.org/html/pledge.htm

Click on the comment button below and let me know what you think.